What Quidditch Positions Would NBA Players Play

By Zachary Bendera on November 1, 2024

With the NBA season kicking off, and Halloween around the corner, it’s the perfect time to watch the Harry Potter movies. Sometimes you just need to mix the two unrelated worlds together. I’ve taken it upon myself to put various NBA players into different positions in the fictional Harry Potter sport of quidditch.

Quidditch rules are relatively simple. It’s a game played on flying broomsticks with 3 types of balls: the Quaffle, multiple Bludgers, and the Golden Snitch. There are three nets that players will score at using the Quaffle for 10 points. A Quidditch team has seven players on it: a Keeper who protects the 3 goalposts, 3 Chasers that go after the Quaffle aiming to score on one of the 3 goalposts, 2 Beaters that carry bats and hit the Bludgers at players to knock them off their brooms, and finally the Seeker. This is the most important position because this player goes after the Golden Snitch. When the Snitch is caught it immediately ends the game and scores the team 150 points. Now that we know the rules of quidditch and the positions at play let’s get some notable NBA players to play these positions.

The Chasers

Chasers can add pressure on the seeker. If your chasers are skilled enough, they can build enough of a lead so that even the seeker catching the snitch is not enough to win the match. So we’re looking for some high-volume scorers who play well as a team and pass well for this position. The first pick for this position needs to be Luka Dončić. The young star for the Dallas Mavericks last season averaged a league best 33.9 points per game, and was second in the league in assists with an average of 9.8 a game. Dončić is a proven leader already as he led his team to the NBA finals last season and is a great starting piece to build this team around. The second player I’m going with is Nikola Jokić who’s arguably the best player in the NBA. He’s coming off of winning his 3rd MVP in the last 4 years and was the final MVP of the 2023 Championship Denver Nuggets team. Nikola averaged a stellar 26.4 points per game last season and was third in the league in assists with an average of 9 a game.  Last but definitely not least for the final chaser spot is LeBron James. The legend is arguably the best to ever do it. He adds great veteran leadership to this team. LeBron is a 4-time NBA champion, and a 4-time finals MVP. James has led the league in both points and assists and averages 25.7 points per game and 8.3 assists. With our 3 chasers sorted, let’s move on to our beaters

Beaters

The Beaters are your players that play a really gritty and physical game, your enforcers who like to get under the others teams skins. They play defence and use there bats and the Bludgers to go after other players. The first selection I have as a beater is Draymond Green. Green is a 4 time NBA Champion and a former defensive player of the year. He’s second all time in career ejections for his rough aggressive playstyle and a perfect fit to be a beater on this team. Our next beater im selecting is Dillon Brooks. Brooks has made a name for himself amongst the NBA for getting under players skins. With brawls with stars like Klay Thompson, Demar Derozan, Donovan Mitchell and even some scuffles with LeBron James. Brooks is a perfect fit for the last beater position on the team.

Keeper

The keeper is our goalie and the heart of the defence blocking all the shots. The easiest pick for this spot is the future face of the NBA, Victor Wembanyama. Standing at 7 foot 4 inches with a 8-foot wingspan, Victor brings the size and height we need to block the Quaffles from entering the 3 hoops. Wembanyama finished 2nd in Defensive Player of the Year votes last season and led the league in blocks, with an average of 3.6 a game. He’s the perfect pick for the heart of any defence.

Seeker 

The seeker is the most important role on the team. When the Snitch is caught it ends the game and scores 150 points, regardless of what the scoreboard says. For this we need someone who’s clutch in the big moments and doesn’t let the spotlight get to him. Who better than the greatest shooter of all time Steph Curry? The 2-time MVP and 4-time NBA champion has never been afraid of the spotlight. He’s the all-time leader in three-pointers made and was the first ever unanimous MVP in NBA history in 2016. Curry won last year’s Clutch Player of the Year award and meets the criteria we need for this position.

As an avid Harry Potter and Basketball fan, I feel confident in forming a quidditch team using these 7 players. I know they would win against Slytherin (the Raptors) in a heartbeat with a team like that.


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